Thursday, July 30, 2009

DRY HUMOR JOKES

KEYHOLE TV

A man didn't have a TV set. So he drilled a hole through the wall into his neighbour's flat and watched the wrestling matches every night. Then he learnt that the neighbour didn't have a TV either......
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HONEST RUNNER

A man carrying a ladder through a crowded street had the misfortune of breaking a plate-glass window in a store. He immediately dropped his ladder and broke into a run. But the shopkeeper along with his servants chased the man who was finally caught.

"Here, you! " shouted the angry shop keeper when he regained his breath. "You have broken my window."

"I have," admitted the man. "And didn't you see me running home to get the money to pay for it?"
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SELL FUN

"Do you know the difference between a watch-maker and a jailer?" asked Eddie.

"That's easy," said Bill. "One sells watches and the other watches cells."
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DISCOUNT BATH

A man told his friends that he was opening a two-tier Turkish bath in the city adding that the charges would be only ten dollars upstairs and five dollars downstairs per person.

"Why only half price downstairs?" he was asked.

"Because," he replied, "once customers use the hot water upstairs, I will send it downstairs."
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SMOKE SIGNAL

A passenger on a bus asked the conductor, "Is smoking permitted here?"

"No," said the conductor.

"Well, Where did all these cigarette butts come from?"

"From people who didn't ask questions." replied the man in uniform.
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BABY AND THE BEAST

A woman with a baby got on a bus. "My goodness," said the conductor. "What an ugly baby! I have never seen an uglier child."

Upset with the conductor's behaviour, the lady complained to the inspector who had just boarded the bus.

The inspector gave her a paper and pen an said, "Write down the complaint, madam. And while you write I will hold your monkey."
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2 comments:

  1. dry humor :You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." That's Direct Marketing. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed." That's Brand Recognition.

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  2. Did you hear about the Pepsi exec who got fired? He tested positive for coke.

    ReplyDelete