HUSBAND AND WIFE JOKES

JUST DO IT

Warm-hearted wife: I am warning you. my husband will be home in an hour.

Mailman: But I am not doing anything.

Wife: That's why I am warning you. If you are going to do anything, you may better hurry.
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CAREFUL VISITOR

At 11 P M, the phone rang and the husband picked up the receiver. "Hello," said the husband. "No...No...., This is a house. Not the harbour office. You must have got the wrong number....it's alright."

"Who was it, dear?" asked the wife form the other side of the bed.

"Oh, it was nothing..." replied the husband."Must be some man from the ship. He was asking if the coast was clear."
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HIND SIGHT

Little boy kept circling his mom until she shouted in exasperation, "Stop it. What do you think you are doing?"

"Only checking if what pop said is true." said the boy.

"What did he say?" asked the curious mom.

"I heard pop talk to the maid," replied the son. "He told her: careful dear. My wife has eyes in the back of her head."
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DITTO HERE

Before going for a few days to her mother's, the jealous wife took her ten-year old son aside, gave him chocolate and told him, "Keep an eye on your father and the maid and let me know what they do."

On her return, she asked her son if there was anything to report. The son nodded. She dragged the boy before her husband and said, " You cheat. I got you this time. Son, now tell us what you saw dad do with the maid."

"The same as you do with the milkman when dad is away," replied the innocent son.
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DOUBLE GUILT

A sales man came home only once in six months. Then, on one night when he was home, both husband and wife had finished dinner and were sitting in the lounge reading. Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

"My husband!" exclaimed the woman, dropping her newspaper.

"Goodbye!" cried her man and leaped out of the back window.
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