Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten coins last night?
Nurse: No change yet.
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SHARE DOCTOR
Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up five more points?
Doctor: Sell!
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PIECEMEAL DOCTOR
Prisoner: Look here, doctor! You've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this place!
Doctor: I am, bit by bit.
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WHOSE DRINK?
As the doctor completed an examination of the patient, he said, "I can't find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it's due to drinking."
"In that case," said the patient, "I'll come back when you're sober"
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MR X IN CLINIC
Nurse: Doctor, there is an invisible man in your waiting room.
Doctor: Tell him I can't see him now. Next.
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IMPATIENT PATIENT
Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people.
Doctor: Tell me about your problem.
Patient: I just did, didn't I, you stupid fool!!
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LONG LIFE
Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer?
Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer.
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