MORE DOCTOR JOKES

IGNORED
A patient walks into a doctor's office.

Patient: Doctor, people ignore me.

Doctor: Next!
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MUSICAL SURGERY
A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands.

"Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?"

"I don't see why not," replies the doctor.

"That's funny," says the man. "I wasn't able to play it before."
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BEWARE
Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1,000 bones in the human body?

Larry: Shhh, doctor! There are three dogs outside in the waiting room!
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SMART KID
Mary: My daughter believes in preventative medicine, doctor.

Doctor: Oh, really?

Mary: Yes, she tries to prevent me from making her take it!
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STOLEN
Doctor: Did you take the patient's temperature?

Nurse: No. Is it missing?
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FILE OR FOLDER?
Patient: Doctor, should I file my nails?

Doctor: No! Throw them away like everybody else.
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BILL FIGHT
Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription?

Doctor: No need for that. You will find that in your bill.
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