"For years," said Mrs Smith, "I didn't know where my husband spent his evenings. And one night I got home early, and there he was: at home."
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POP FIGHT
A female social worker knocked at the door of a house, attracted by what sounded like a family quarrel inside. A little boy opened the door.
"What's the matter?" asked the visitor. "Parents fighting?" The boy nodded.
"Who is your father?" asked the social worker again.
"That's precisely what they are fighting about," replied the boy.
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QUITE SHOCKING
A wife asked her husband, "Last year for Christmas, we sent my mother a chair. What do you think we ought to do this year?"
The husband answered, "Electrify last year's chair."
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NUMBER GAME
Law teacher: If a person has several wives, what do you call it?
Pupil: Polygamy.
Teacher: If a person has two wives?
Pupil: Bigamy.
Teacher: And if a person has one wife?
Pupil: Monotony.
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SPEECH THERAPY
The doctor shook his head. "I am afraid," he told the woman, "I can't cure your husband of talking in his sleep."
"I don't want you to cure him,"she replied. "Just make him talk more distinctly."
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THERMOGAG
A man took his wife to the doctor. The medic jammed a thermometer in her mouth. "Now," he said, "keep your mouth shut for five minutes."
The husband gazed at the tiny glass tube with fascination. "Where can I buy that thing, doc?" he asked.
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