ASKING FOR A RAISE

Trapped......                                               

The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.

She asked: 'Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?'

Maria: 'Well, Señora, there are three reasons why I want an increase.' The first is that I iron better than you.'

Wife: 'Who said you iron better than me?'

Maria: 'Your husband said so...'

Wife: 'Oh.'

Maria: 'The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.'

Wife: 'Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?'

Maria: 'Your husband did.'

Wife: 'Oh.'

Maria: 'My third reason is that I am a better lover than you..'

Wife: (really furious now): 'Did my husband say that as well?'

Maria: 'No Señora...... the gardener did.'

(2 minutes silence)

Wife: '...So how much do you want?

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....And Escaped.....

When it comes to circumlocution, Alexander Haig, the former US State Secretary, takes the cake. Haig, a career diplomat turned politician, was once approached by one of his office clerks asking for a raise (in his salary). 


Without batting eyelid Mr. Haig said, "My dear son, because of the fluctuational predisposition of your position's productive capacity as juxtaposed to the Government standards, it would be momentarily injudicious to advocate an increment."

With utter incomprehension, the clerk said, " I don't get it." (meaning he didn't understand what Haig said). 


"That's right." replied Mr. Haig coolly.
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