Wednesday, May 23, 2012

DUCKS AND KANGAROOS



A circus owner walked into a bar to find everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside-down pot and a duck tap-dancing on it.

The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot.

Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn't dance a single step!"

"That's strange" said the duck's former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"

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Visiting the zoo one day, a lady noticed one of the kangaroos had a huge set of balls. She couldn't believe the size of these hummers, and when the 'roo ventured close to the bars of the enclosure, she reached thru the bars and gave his 'nads a squeeze.

The animal, startled, jumped clear over the fence and bounded away down the path.

A keeper saw the critter fading out of sight, and running up to the woman, said "What did you do to that kangaroo?"

"I just gave his nuts a tweak to see if they were real!" she wailed.

"Well," said the keeper, dropping his pants, "you'd better tweak mine, 'cause I have to catch that sucker"!
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