Showing posts with label confession. Show all posts
Showing posts with label confession. Show all posts

Friday, September 27, 2013

THE BRAG RACE

Four guys are having drinks and, as one heads to the restroom, the three others started to talk about their successful sons.

The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a company at the bottom. He studied business and began to climb the corporate ladder, and now he's the president of the company. He's so rich he gave his best friend a top-of-the-line Mercedes for Christmas!"

"Damn, thats terrific!" the second guy said, "My son is also my pride and joy. He started working as a flight attendant on corporate jets. Then went to flight school to become a pilot. He became a partner where he owns the majority of the company. He is so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet as a Christmas gift!"

"Well that's terrific!" the third man said. "My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer, started his own construction company, and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave an expensive christmas gift to his best friend: a 30,000 square foot mansion!"

The three guys are congratulating each other just as the fourth guy returns from the restroom to ask what are all the congratulations about?

One of the three guys said, "Were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. You have a son too, right? How's he doing."

The fourth man says, "My son is gay and makes his living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."

"That's a shame...what a disappointment," the three men mumble.

"Not at all!" the fourth man says. "I'm not ashamed at all: he's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too badly for himself, either. Why, just this Christmas alone he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet, and a top-of-the-line Mercedes from his three best customers!"

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Sunday, August 25, 2013

THE CONFESSION

A married man went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman."

The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?"

The man said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."

The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in". You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."

The man left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!"

The man replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in."

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