CHURCH FAUX PAS

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

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The Fasting & Prayer Conference
includes meals.

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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks
on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale...
It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.
Bring your husbands.

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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help..

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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM -
prayer and medication to follow.

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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.

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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

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FUNNY SIGNPOSTS

In countries where the English language is used with local twists, a lots of fun is generated inadvertently. Following are a few funny signposts:

# At a Beijing eatery: "Customers giving orders will be promptly executed."

# At a French restaurant: "The water you drink here has been personally passed by the manager."

# Signpost at a hospital: "Speak only truth. Never lie down with the nurses."

# In a Bucharest Hotel lobby: "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable."

# In a Japanese hotel: "You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."

# Inside a Hong Kong tailor shop: "Ladies buying dresses may have a fit upstairs."

# Sign at an ex-barber's shop: "Lower hair cutting shop has been shifted upstairs."

# At a Bangkok dry cleaner's: "Drop your trousers here for best results."

# In a Zurich hotel: "Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for that purpose."

# In a hotel in Athens: "Visitors are expected to complain at the office between 9 and 11 am, daily."

# Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: "Would you like to ride on your own ass?"

# Posted in a German Black Forest: "It is strictly forbidden in our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose."

# In a Belgrade elevator: "To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order."
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