One day a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw a guy eating grass He told the driver to stop. He got out and asked him, `Why are you eating grass`.
The man replied, `I`m so poor, I can`t afford a thing to eat.`
So the lawyer said, `Poor guy, come back to my house.`
The guys then said, `But I have a wife and three kids.` The lawyer told him to bring them along.
When they were all in the car, the poor man said, `Thanks for taking us back to your house, it is so kind of you.`
The lawyer said, `You`re going to love it there, the grass is a foot tall.`
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A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly.
Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk.
The lawyer said, `I don`t mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?`
St. Peter replied, `Well, I`ve added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!`
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A man reluctantly attends his lawyer`s funeral expecting to be one of the one people there, and is surprised to see a huge turnout for this one terrible man. He turns to the people around him.
"Why are you all at this lawyer`s funeral?" he asks.
A man turns towards him and says, "We`re all clients."
"And you ALL came to pay your respects?"
"No, we came to make sure he was really dead."
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