Did you hear about:
A Scotsman who was very nearly drowned in the Black Sea while he was filling his fountain pen?
OR
A pathetic out-of-work contortionist who says he can no longer make both ends meet?
OR
A Scotsman who found an Australian penny and emigrated.?
OR
A lady who is a world authority on carpets, a expert on rugs and not at all bad on lino?
OR
A great Irish forger who is able to take a fifty penny piece and file off the corners so accurately that he can pass it off as a ten penny piece?
OR
A Texas man who made a fortune selling smokeless fuel to Red Indian couples who are not speaking to each other?
OR
A famous one-fingered pickpocket who stole only Polo mints?
OR
A stereo expert whose favourite breakfast - two bowls of rice crispies kept ten feet apart?
OR
About a police message that says that of two rabbits stolen last week from a pet shop, only fourteen have so far been recovered?
OR
A farm labourer who fought for eighteen years to prevent an expressway being built through his kitchen and won the case? Now they are building it through his living room.
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