BOSS AND MORE

One day an employee sends a letter to Her boss asking for an increase in her salary !!!

Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing$ mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of your worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company .

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

$incerely Your$,
Marian $hih

The next day, the employee received a nice reply like this :

Dear Marian

I kNOw what you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet .


NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad .

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean .

Yours truly,
Manager

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A naked and drunken woman boards taxi in London one night. The Irish driver keeps staring, and does not start the taxi.

Woman: “Haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?”

Driver: “I’m not staring at you lady…............ ......... ... Just wondering where have you kept money to pay me.

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EMPLOYER EMPLOYEE HUMOUR

INDISPENSABLE

"One of the most tactful men I ever saw," says a man, "was the man who sacked me from my very first job.

He called me in and said - Young man, I don't know how we are ever going to get on without you, but starting from Monday we are going to try."
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COMPU-THREAT

"Why computers can't replace man?"

"Because they can't laugh at boss' jokes."
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PASS THE PECK

The boss was deeply absorbed at his desk trying to solve some knotty problems. His pretty secretary interrupted, "Your little daughter wants to kiss you over the telephone, sir."

"Take the message," he ordered, waving her away. "I will get it from you later."
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WANT A RAISE

An employee once said to his boss, "Sir, do you realise that with the rising cost of living, I am now starving on the income once I dreamed about."
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CIRCUMLOCUTION

Employee: Boss I want a raise.

Boss:(trying to duck the issue) Well. The fact is, because of the fluctuational predisposition of your position's intrinsic worth as juxtaposed to the company's extrinsic needs, it would be momentarily injudicious to advocate an increment.

Employee:(unable to grasp, scratches his head) Boss, I don't get it.

Boss: That's right.
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RESPONSIBLE

Employer: For this job we want a responsible man.

Applicant: Then you got the right man in me, sir. Wherever I worked, if anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.
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RAISING SALARY
A boss appointed a beautiful girl as his personal secretary.

At the end of the first month, he gave her a pair of golden ear-rings as salary.

For the second month he gave her an expensive night-gown.

At the end of the third month, he raised the second month's salary.
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