THE WINKER'S LEGACY

The personnel director was interviewing people for the position of account executive. One candidate offered excellent references and experience, and he was well-dressed and well-spoken. The only catch was a disconcerting mannerism: the fellow couldn't seem to stop winking.

So the personnel director decided to be frank. "You've got all the qualifications for the job and I'd really like to hire you, but I have to be honest. I'm afraid that facial tic of yours might put clients off."

"I'm glad you brought that up, sir," said the candidate, "because all I need to make that annoying wink go away is a couple of aspirins. See for yourself. I've got some on me," he says, as he starts emptying his pockets on the desk. The prospective employer was startled to see dozens of packages of condoms piling up: ribbed ones, lubricated ones, multi-colored ones -- every variety imaginable.

"Aha," cried the young man happily, "here they are!" He brandished two aspirin tablets, swallowed them, and sure enough the 'wink' went away in less than a minute.

"So much for the wink," said the personnel manager sternly, gesturing at the mound of rubbers, "but what about all this stuff here? I don't want the company to be represented by some wild womanizer."

"No fear, sir," the prospect assured him. "I'm a happily married man!"

So how do you account for the contents of you pockets?"

It's quite simple, sir," the fellow assured him. "Did you ever go into a drugstore, winking like crazy, and ask for a bottle of aspirin?"
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EMPLOYER EMPLOYEE HUMOUR

INDISPENSABLE

"One of the most tactful men I ever saw," says a man, "was the man who sacked me from my very first job.

He called me in and said - Young man, I don't know how we are ever going to get on without you, but starting from Monday we are going to try."
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COMPU-THREAT

"Why computers can't replace man?"

"Because they can't laugh at boss' jokes."
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PASS THE PECK

The boss was deeply absorbed at his desk trying to solve some knotty problems. His pretty secretary interrupted, "Your little daughter wants to kiss you over the telephone, sir."

"Take the message," he ordered, waving her away. "I will get it from you later."
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WANT A RAISE

An employee once said to his boss, "Sir, do you realise that with the rising cost of living, I am now starving on the income once I dreamed about."
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CIRCUMLOCUTION

Employee: Boss I want a raise.

Boss:(trying to duck the issue) Well. The fact is, because of the fluctuational predisposition of your position's intrinsic worth as juxtaposed to the company's extrinsic needs, it would be momentarily injudicious to advocate an increment.

Employee:(unable to grasp, scratches his head) Boss, I don't get it.

Boss: That's right.
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RESPONSIBLE

Employer: For this job we want a responsible man.

Applicant: Then you got the right man in me, sir. Wherever I worked, if anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.
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RAISING SALARY
A boss appointed a beautiful girl as his personal secretary.

At the end of the first month, he gave her a pair of golden ear-rings as salary.

For the second month he gave her an expensive night-gown.

At the end of the third month, he raised the second month's salary.
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