TEA CEREMONY

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me and my brother who is four years younger than I am.

He was maybe 3-1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident in which his arm had been broken.

Someone had given him a little "tea set" as a get-well gift and it was one of his favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news and my brother was playing nearby in the living room when he brought Daddy a little cup of "tea" (which was just water).

After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch my brother bring him a cup of tea, because it was "just the cutest thing!"

Mom waited, and sure enough, here he comes down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.

Then she says to him, "Did it ever occur to you that the only place that the baby can reach to get water is the toilet?"
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QUIRKY STORE

A little old lady went to the grocery store & put the most expensive cat food in her basket. She then went to the check out counter where she told the check out girl, "Nothing but the best for my little kitten."

The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we can't sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, & the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat."

The little old lady went home, picked up her cat & brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food.

The next day, the old lady went to the store & bought 12 of the most expensive dog cookies - one for each day of Christmas. The cashier this time demanded proof that she now had a dog, claiming that old people sometimes eat dog food.

Frustrated, she went home, came back & brought in her dog. She was then given the dog cookies.

The next day, she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said, "No - you might have a snake in there." The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would bite her.

So, the cashier put her finger into the box & pulled it out & told the little old lady, "That smells like crap." The little old lady grinned from ear to ear, "Now, my dear, can I please buy 3 rolls of toilet paper?"
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DIRTY KISS

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique problem.

A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lip stick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses).

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet seat, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There are teachers .......... and then there are educators.
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