TOP SECRET

During the Second World War an American secret service agent was sent to Wales to pick up some very sensitive information from an agent called Jones. His instructions were to walk around town using a code phrase until he met his fellow agent.

He found himself on a desolate country road and where he ran into a farmer.

"Hello," said the agent, "I'm looking for a man called Jones."

"Well you're in luck boy-o," said the farmer, "there's lots of folk named Jones 'round here. There's Jones the butcher, Jones the baker, Jones the blacksmith, why even my name is Jones."

"Aha," thought the agent, "this could be my man." So he whispered the secret code.

"The sun is shining... the grass is growing... the cows are ready for milking."

"Oh," said the farmer, "you're looking for Jones the spy."
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OLD, BUT WISE

INDIAN WISDOM

An old Indian chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a ceremonial pipe and eyeing two U.S. government officials sent to interview him.

"Chief Two Eagles" asked one official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."

The chief nodded in agreement.

The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"

The chief stared at the government officials for over a minute and then calmly replied, "When white man found the land, Indians were running it. No taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, women did all the work, medicine man free, Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing, all night having sex."

Then the chief leaned back and smiled, "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.
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COMRADES IN ARMS

A senior citizen drove his brand new BMW out the car sales room . Taking off down the motor-way , he floored it to 90 , enjoying the wind blowing through . Amazing he thought as he flew down the Motor Way , looking in his rear view mirror , he saw a police car behind him , blue light flashing , siren blaring .

'' I can get away from him - no problem ! '' He floored it to 130 , then 140 ...then 150 ...

Suddenly , he thought , '' What on earth am I doing ? I'm too old for this nonsense ! '' So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him .

Pulling in behind him , the officer walked up to the drivers side of the BMW , looked at his watch and said , ''Sir , my shift ends in ten minutes , Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend , If you can give me a reason I've never heard before for why you were speeding , I'll let you go ''

The Man looked very seriously at the police man , and replied , '' Years ago , my wife ran off with a policeman , I thought you were bringing her back , ''

The Cop left saying ''Have a good day , Sir....!! '
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